10 Simple Ways to Show Respect for Your Child
(Yes, it is important not only to love a child but also to respect! 😊)
1. NAME A CHILD as she/he likes
(Be sure to remember the name of an unfamiliar child when you meet for the first time). You can clarify: “And how would you like me to call you?”Our son, for example, every time someone tries to call him a “bunny” / “little” / “sweet boy”, etc., says emphatically: “I’m not a bunny. I’m a boy, my name is John. Don’t call me a bunny.” Of course, you could get used to a “bunny”, but if a child asks not to address him/her like that – make an effort and show your respect.
2. Each time ASK: “CAN I take your toy/book?” (“Can I ask you something?” / “Can we talk now?” / “Can I come into your room now?”)
It is respect for the child’s personal boundaries. Got used to the fact that such an attitude is the norm, the child will also ask you, before taking your thing, to disturb you in the room…☝By the way, they will also learn to react calmly to your refusal if you calmly accept their “no, you can’t”.
3. NEVER SHOW a child in an unfavorable light to others
Do not make fun of their mistakes with other adults, even if the situation is quite comical and you want to tell relatives or friends a life “joke”. It’s a pity, but I have repeatedly heard in the conversations of mothers: “And my” chicken “/ club / lazy – imagine…”
In the eyes of children, such behavior of a loved one is equivalent to betrayal.
4. HEAR A CHILD’S “NO”
If the situation allows, accept this answer without forcing the child to repeat again and again until the hysteria starts. (There was an episode when a woman was playing with our son, and at one moment John said to her, “No, I don’t want you to catch me like that, I don’t want to play like that,” and confidently put his little palm forward. But the adult enthusiastically continued the game: “And I want to catch you, you’re such a sweet boy.” Hearing “no” a second time, the woman tried to continue playing. Of course, I intervened, asking to stop immediately, as my son clearly explained that he did not want to play like that.) A child needs to understand that his “no” is respected, his word is worth something. So, defending your opinion, there is no need to “hystericize”. Of course, there are situations when parents still need to do things their own way, despite the child’s disagreement. But at least let your child know that you heard her “no” is very important.
5. APOLOGIZE if you feel you have done something wrong, too impulsive, harsh, etc.
It is not hard to say “Sorry, I was wrong, please forgive me, I will try not to do this way in the future”
6. DO NOT LIE to the child
It is not necessary, for example, by saying “the doctor will only look at you” if you know for sure that the child will have an unpleasant procedure.
7. Recognize the RIGHT of a child to feel various EMOTIONS
Including “uncomfortable”: anger, frustration, resentment, envy, jealousy, irritation, etc. Try to stay calm and do not blame yourself that you are a bad mother/father if you can not calm down your child immediately.
8. Calmly give to a child an OPPORTUNITY to JUSTIFY his DISAGREEMENT
Even if in some cases your final decision is different from the child’s. (Of course, except when the decision must be made immediately, as it concerns security, for example)
9. DO NOT USE the phrases:
«when you will grow up – you will know”, “you are still too young”, “listen to the elders”, “because I said so” These words are not the arguments that can convince a child. They only ruin the relationship, undermining the trust between you.
10. Express remarks TACTELY, WITH RESPECT.
Correct, but always with love: the way you would like to be corrected.